Read the next sentence channeling “the Most Interesting Man in The World” from the old TV commercials for Dos Equis beer:
“I don’t always read in the bathroom, but when I do, I read from a book, not a screen.”
No idea if that guy ever sold much beer, but what a loveable old narcissist. (“Stay healthy my friends...” is what he’d say if he’d been talking about reading in the bathroom.)
For most people there’s only a minute or two (?) available for such reading, but this still is a predictable enough time span to benefit from keeping something to read there. I like having just a single bookmarked book. Not a library or a pile of magazines or catalogs. And my smartphone only goes with me into the bathroom if it was forgotten inside a pant or shirt pocket. I don’t want any kind interruption. The reason one is in there is already a bit stressful, at least subliminally, so more potential stress is the last thing anyone needs while taking care of themselves in a bathroom.
Magazines or catalogs are popular in bathrooms because those types of stories and descriptions are generally brief and there's never a plot to remember, but I still prefer a bookmarked book. Books take many months to read this way, which is why choosing the right book and using a bookmark is important.
The last book I read this way was ’Stalking the Wild Asparagus’ by Euell Gibbons. It probably took me over a year, though I didn’t actually keep track. It’s an old-fashioned guide to foraging and preparing natural and wild-found foods like Dandelions and Mushrooms, so there’s no plot to remember from one day to the next. Again, you just need a bookmark. Bookmarks are the key to reading books in the bathroom. A pen or pencil clipped to the cover can also be useful for marking a passage or making marginal notations if you are so inclined.
My current bathroom read is a book called ‘Across America By Motor-cycle’ which is a nice memoir by some British guy about his solo unsupported and unsponsored 1918 coast-to-coast ride. We sell it. He’s traveling westward and has just reached Flagstaff Arizona, which means it will still be a while before I finish.
I doubt I could have read either of these books normally, a chapter or two before bed or whatever. But taken in very small sections of only a few paragraphs or pages these books read just fine. And like all the printed books ever made, they are guaranteed to never ring, chime or buzz unexpectedly.
-- Mr. Subjective, 1/2021
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