Filth Stasis Calibrator

Know exactly when your gear has reached a state of ideal road-filth equilibrium, I.E. – when the riding suit cannot get any dirtier or cleaner. It’s simple, really...ride off with clean new gear…and as the miles add up it gets dirtier and dirtier. Then after a while you ride through some rain and it gets a little cleaner again. The rain stops and it doesn’t rain for a while so you again get dirtier. Eventually a balance point is reached. Equilibrium. This point is a little different for each rider/bike combination, which is where this precision Swiss calibrator comes in. Measures light waves and embedded nano-particulates, adjusting automatically for leather and textile garments. Originally developed by US military clothing research (for active combat uniforms) in co-operation with NASA (for space suits) and the W.L. Gore company. Research subjects included Randy Brody of Aerostich, and endurance rider John Ryan. After one use you won’t know how you got along without it. Settles campfire arguments about who's riding gear is the worst, once and for all. Also required maître d' equipment at all Michelin Guide five star restaurants, too.